Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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