we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Randomize
