i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize