I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We had sex on a dog bed..
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
