i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
