I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I need to align my fucking chakras
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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