It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
