He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
