you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
