you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
