Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
