bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
