it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Randomize
