She is in my trunk
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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