She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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