i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
