where am i from again
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
