That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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