just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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