garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
