i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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