i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
