i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize