I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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