That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
