what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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