She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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