So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize