Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
