Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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