Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
