He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
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