There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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