My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
