hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
