I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
