How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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