haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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