they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
