I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
