if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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