Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
