I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
