you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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