he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
