Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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