i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Did I show you my penis last night?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
