He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
