The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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