My liver just broke up with me...
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
