I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Randomize
