I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
