you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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