It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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