What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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