I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
