I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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