Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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