is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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