3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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